Horriblscopes

Today, I was flipping through the news paper and I came across the astrology section. For some stupid reason, I decided to look at my horoscope. It read:
Cancer
You will find yourself on cloud nine, dear Cancer. Feel free to open yourself up and let loose. Your intuition is right on target today and is working harmoniously with your rational mind. Let these two parts of your being work in tandem to get the job done. You have the opportunity to make tremendous progress so feel free to tackle the hardest projects on your list. On the other hand, you may just want to lie back in a hammock and enjoy the good mood that this day has to offer you without even lifting a finger.

What a bunch of shit! On cloud nine...yeah right, the only cloud I saw was that fcking black one that seemed to follow me all damn day. As I started to think about the rest of it, my mind began to go in several different directions. I was wondering which of my intuitions was right, and did I even have any intuitions.

I seem to always think horoscopes are a bunch of crap, unless of course, it is telling me something good will happen during my day.

I just don't get it. How is it that Courier Post is telling me I'm going to find love and The Inquirer says I need to take chances in order to achieve my goals. Which one do I believe? Who comes up with this and how? If it has to do with the way the planets are aligned, why aren't they all the same?

Personally, I guess I'm just going to have to go back to believing it is all in fun. Take it for what it is worth, don't read too far into it and only believe it if it has a positive message.