HNT-shirt

Happy HNT Peckerheads!

Alright, let me explain. I was down in AC playing in a little no-limit tourney when this all happened. I had just entered the tournament, when all of the sudden, the food I had scarffed down on the ride was on it's way out. I figured that I could be there a long while and that I had better take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

I found a bathroom that was off the beaten path and laid a nest. The bathroom was extremely clean however, it was still a public bathroom and you can never be too safe. I used two toilet seat liners and several layers of TP. After doing my doodie, I reach up inside the TP holder and yup you guessed it, there was two mother effing sheets left. WTF!

There I was having to get back to the tourney, sitting there with a dirty ass and no damn shit paper. A million things started going through my head. Nobody there to help a brother out, and no way was I able to reach under to grab some from the next stall. I even thought about using the seat covers, but opted out, figuring that it would have tore me a new a-hole. I wasn't able to stomach getting up and walking to the next stall either, but it did go through my mind.

What the eff was I to do? Suddenly, I remembered that the Nowak'sgave me a little Swiss Army pocket knife Key chain as part of my gift for being in their wedding, and on this Key chain was a little pair of scissors. Once again as you can see from the picture this gift has bailed me out.

So off I went cutting away my shirt into a small enough piece of shirt to allow me to wipe my ass clean. Sure, I guess you are wondering why I didn't cut the entire thing up and use a bigger piece of my shirt. Well I have this weird thing that when I wear a belt, I have to tuck an under shirt in so that the belt doesn't rub against my skin. I know, it's effing crazy, but I blame my parents for this one too. I don't know what they did to make me have these insane little quirks, but they need to take responsibility for something. This little piece of shirt allowed me to wipe my ass clean enough to pull up my trousers and head for more paper. What a life saver, who knows how long I could have been sitting there getting ass rot waiting for someone to come along.

After all this, I didn't last too long in the tournament. I lasted about an hour and a half before getting beat by some fine play and a stupid read on my part. After that I played a little $1-$2 no limit and got my money back from the tourney. Not bad for playing a little poker and gain a good story.

Thanks again Nowak's.